I'm 35 years old and
still get keyed up about Christmas, well kind of. I'm not a
Christmas extremist that has to deck the halls and
decorate the house or a tree with one million curios that have banal
sentimental significance or position over sized inflatable Santa's and
snowmen on my very green grassed front yard. Actually, I can't stand Christmas
decorations; in all
sincerity the idea of ornaments and a sticky pine tree symbolizes absolutely nothing
to me other than, something else I will have to put back in the attic and
expect another year, and another stupid 20XX Christmas ornament to deposit on
the frickin' tree the following year. In addition to this pain in the neck part
of this overzealous holiday we call Christmas, if I do put up a tree and I do
indeed adorn it with cheesy ornaments and colorful Christmas lights,
I will then have to concern myself on a daily basis of whether or not 1 of our
5 cats will use the tree as their own personal pissing post, or our ornaments
as their new play toys or better yet, a new lookout point for our 4 male cats
to sabotage our ever hated only female cat Gigi. And let us not forget to
mention the amount of sap a Christmas tree produces and our curious cats that
mangle their hair in this gorilla glue mess or the soon to become tainted water
we use to water the tree, which will then provide for a new watering station
for our 7 pound Schnauzer who has a very sensitive tummy.
Yes, right now you are thinking, I have completely
lost my mind and I am contradicting my very first statement of my blog, about
how much I LOOOOVE Christmas. But on the contrary, I adore the idea of
Christmas. Conceptually speaking when I think of the holiday, I am
always reminded of how much I miss my family and how far away we all are from
each other. I've lived in Texas for 14 years and given our Christmas' here are usually 70 degrees and tennis weather, I have grown quite accustomed to
travelling during the holidays back to Michigan. In fact, I've traveled so much during
the holidays that I have it down to a science.
Rule #1 Always get the first flight out of the city.
Side Note: I know you are
thinking well if I just leave the night before, right after I get out of work
then I will have the entire next day to enjoy at my destination. NOT. Unfortunately
I have fallen victim to this very way of thinking and each and every time, I
have always gotten burned. Whether it is a delayed flight because of weather or
weather in a state 3000 miles away that affects your aircraft, it never works
out the way you think it will. Or it could just be the mere fact, that airline
travelling in the late afternoon and early evening usually results in an
unsavory situation. Always.
Rule #2 Alochol. Need I say more? This speaks for itself.
Rule #3 First Class upgrade.
Side Note:By all means if you have the opportunity to upgrade your ticket
while checking in at the airport, do it! It usually only a cost between $60-$90
and it is always money well spent! Free cocktails at any time of day, hot nuts,
hot towels and a meal that usually is on a real plate with real silverware!
Bigger, comfier seats and your own personal wait staff. It is the one moment in
my life, where I can actually say, I feel special, when flying the friendly
skies ;-) I'm such a brat, but really honestly, I would never pay the money for
a real first class ticket, that would make me a real airline snob, and that's just
not how I roll. Just sayin'...
Rule #4 Never argue with an airline attendant that is trying to
re-book your flight.
Side Note: My Momma always said "Kill em' with kindness". It works
and trust me the last thing you want to do is piss off an already pissed off
airline personnel. They are not the kindest of folks to begin with,
actually I really think that are recruited through some sort of Hitler-esque
staffing system anyways, but that's a whole other blog. Anyways, point is, if
you are nice to the attendant, I assure you they will return the favor, one
time I got a first class upgrade just by batting my eyes and saying I really
need to get home to see my grandma for Christmas and I'm really afraid to
fly... You don’t want to come across too sweet or too crazy, just a
healthy combination of the two, kind of like the one who flew over
the cuckoo's nest lite, with a dash of R.P. McMurphy, just
enough to put a mini chill in the already chilled attendants body, so they will
feel sorry for you, but yet you freaked them out enough to make them move
faster than normal, and accommodate more than usual ;-)
Rule #5 Always tip the baggage attendants at the outdoor gate.
Side Note: Every time I did not tip the baggage dude, my luggage
mysteriously got lost. Be generous too, $5 doesn't cut it anymore. They have
all of the control over you baggage and whether or not it makes it to you final
destination. This is the wrong time to be a tight ass.
So when it comes to Christmas, if I had to reflect on
what truly makes me happy about the holidays, ultimately, it's the gifts. Not
just getting gifts but giving as well. It's true; I get an enormous amount of
satisfaction out of watching someone open a gift that I took hours to
pick out just for them. Don't get me wrong, I love opening gifts too, I mean
isn’t' that what Christmas is all about anyways, surprises? Or maybe it's
the gift of giving, or the gift of receiving? Or maybe the holiday is just a
gift in general because we get that day off of work! Regardless, I can honestly
say, I can't recall someone opening a gift from me that they didn't like. It's
possible that someone might have not liked a gift from me and just never told
me, but I’ll stick to my wilted perception that I am an amazing gift giver.
The holidays are stressful. It's true. If you're
not tormenting about your cats using your tree as their own
personal bathroom, or using your cheesy Christmas ornaments as play toys,
or worrying about your dog drinking the rancid tree water, or
worrying about whether or not you'll make your flight home due to
some Nazi airline person then maybe you are thinking about how truly
marvelous Christmas actually is. It only comes once a year, we organize two
months in advance for this one day and then in 24 hours it is all
over. The new year creeps up on us 7 days later and then we are faced with a
new year and a new beginning and new worries, because taxes are due! Yeah!
Ultimately though, if we can take the time to sit still and really embrace this
one day and think about the year and how quickly time goes by, perhaps this day
will slow down just a bit to permit us to take pleasure in every minute, every
gift, every smile, every laugh, every moment we get to spend with family,
friends and loved ones, more importantly the opportunity to reflect how truly
thankful we are for the gift of amazing day that only comes once a year.
